Awesome New Blog Post!

So, today my wife informs me that if I would add a new post to the blog, it would be "awesome." Well, we'll see what we see, right? I thought my snarky facebook posts would suffice (and if you want snarkily inflammatory posts, you could check the ol' twitter feed.) But, apparently not. Pffft.


Let's see now...I don't even remember how to start.


"Forgive me, father, it's been 3 months since my last confession." Maybe not.


"What's the deal with cardboard? Is it a card, is it a board? Make up your mind, already." No. Absolument pas.


Let's just dive in, shall we?


Fun holiday weekend. Wednesday, took the kids to see The Muppet Movie. First kid-flick I've seen in a long time that I didn't fall asleep during. Very funny. Then we went to lunch, then to the craft store to get supplies for "puff-ball turkeys." On Tuesday, I'd picked the kids up at school in the afternoon to take them for their checkups, and Johnny had to leave without his turkey. So we got the stuff, and went home so the kids could strew it around the dinning room. Cara created a host of puffball characters, including "Miss-YOUR Puf-BALL, zee GRAH-tist haht-BREAK-er in ul ov FRAHNCE!" (I transliterated the accent.) Fun.


Thanksgiving, went to the home to have lunch/dinner with Mom, Mary Jo, Kathy, Greg, Brian, and Megan. Then in the afternoon, off to the Holcomb's for a gourmet dinner, err, I mean David Holcomb can't cook so don't accept an invitation but let me know and I will go and bear the brunt of his tragic cooking style in your stead. Just a little service I provide, and you're welcome.


In the evening, we popped over next door for dessert. Allie is also one of eight, and they were all there, with spouses and children and children and children. It was cacophonous, but it was fun and the pies were good. Johnny loves peanut butter pie, but probably only when Allie serves it.


Friday was fun. Around 5, just before dusk, Cara was swinging next door, when she apparently let go of the chains for reasons that escape reason. Fell on her back, went to the ER. Nothing was obviously broken from the x-ray, but now we have to see an orthopedist to see if she has a broken growth plate. She's in a sling right now to immobilize her left arm a bit, sadly they would not give me a device to immobilize her jaw.


Saturday, put up some Christmas decorations. When the kids went up to get ready for bed, I went outside to check on them for five minutes. By the time I got back in, the upstairs toilet had overflowed and was raining down a bit in the kitchen. Could have been worse.


Oh, here's a neat pic I took out the car window on the way home from lunch on Thursday, a buck says you'd never guess what it is:

(scroll down a bit)












It's the multicolored car washing soap in the automatic car wash. There were red and oranges, too, Cara got a picture of those. It wuz reel purty.


"Awesome" enough for ya?

Letters from Iwo Johnny

So, for my "vacation," I took the kids to Chris's parents -- about 6 hours away. The plan was for them to stay there for a week. We left on Sunday, July 24th, and I was to pick them up on the following Sunday, the 31st. Johnny is only 8, and obviously this has already been a pretty interesting year for him, so I was only half hoping he'd make it the whole week. 


I started to get emails from him on Tuesday:

The best part of any vacation is when something almost happens.

 Somewhere in there, he had a note that said "Next time we come to Gramma's, I want you to come with me," or along those lines. I can't find it, but clearly he was just homesick.

 Then, Cara got into the discussion:

 I gave in and drove over on Saturday, stayed until Sunday, and then we all came home. Still, I'm pretty proud of the little guy, even if he did pout quite a bit. Couldn't see it from  my house.

Wisconsin (Part 2, with a Michigan bonus track)

(Grand Blanc, MI, tonight, home tomorrow)


June 24, continued


After Johnny did the surfari, Cara wanted to try it. She did pretty well, except that the end she wiped out, and two things happened. First, she lost part of her bathing suit. I didn't see it, as far as I saw, she got up, came down the ramp, and started sobbing to me that her suit had fallen off. I calmed her down a bit by relating the Johnny "butt" story. She also hit her head, which she actually didn't mention until a few minutes later. She seemed ok, pupils were fine, etc., but the next day she had a sore head and a little lump.


Kalarahi photos


June 25


Nothing really exciting, until the evening. We decided to do a little campfire after dinner. There were no marshmallows, but Johnny was happy with just a chocolate graham cracker sandwich. I took the kids on a very short trek around the paths that Dave had mowed that day to see what we think is a set of badger holes.


The kids went back inside after a while. We sat around, listening to whip-poor-wills, saw an American Woodcock fly by, and then it got interesting. The coyotes were back at it, again just maybe 200 yards away or so (but hard to say for sure.) That went on long enough for me to run in and get the kids out on the deck so they could hear it, and then silence again. The kids went off to bed.


About a half hour later, Dave, Linda, and I were still outside. I thought I heard an owl in the distance, so I stood up and took a few steps in that direction, hoping to hear better. But just as I did that, there was an odd bleating noise from behind me, just inside the forest about maybe 75 feet from where we were seated. It went on for about a dozen bleats, maybe 15 seconds total, then there was a big thump, then footsteps running away. So we sat there, quiet as stones, trying to hear what would happen next. About a minute later, we started to hear things sorta creeping in the woods directly by us. We listened to that for a little. Dave suggested that we move up to the deck, and I agreed, noting that the deck was a much more defensible position. So, we did. Didn't hear anything after that, though. My guess: deer, especially fawns, will make a sort of noise like that when they are threatened or frightened or separated from their doe, so that was probably the noise. I think it wasn't the coyotes that were threatening it, maybe it just got scared when it saw me, and fell over trying to get away. The other noises were probably nothing. Oh, also: we were drinking. 


June 26


We got up, packed, and off we went. It's almost 9 hours from Black River Falls to St. Ignace, Michigan. Lots of 2-lane roads, but mostly 55+mph. Killed a lot of bugs with my front grill, that's for sure. Lost an hour with the time change, too, so with stops and everything, it was quite the trek.


June 27


Fudge Island Day. Got up, checked out, went to the ferry dock, and a quick 15 minute ride later, we land on Mackinac Island. It's a big place, and we were only going to stay for a few hours, so I convinced the kids to go for a little walk: up to the fort, then out to Arch Rock, Sugarloaf, then back for lunch, and, of course, fudge. We trudge up the hill to the fort, and to save a little time, you can just add "and there was a little complaining about the hike" to everything I write until we get to lunch.


At the fort, saw lots of neat stuff. There are scouts who stay on the island for a week or two and work at the fort as guides. All the flags at the fort were at half-staff, and I didn't know why, so I asked every scout I came to. The usual answer was, "I think it's because someone died." "Yes, thanks, but do you know who?" Invariably: no. But don't blame the scouts, I asked maybe five or six other people who lived/worked there the same question, and no one knew. I even asked the lady at the McDonalds when we stopped for shakes. She felt bad that she didn't know, which was more than any of the other folks did. Later I found out:


Michigan Governor Snyder has ordered United States flags throughout the State of Michigan to be lowered to half staff on Monday, June 27, 2011 in honor of Private First Class Brian J. Backus of Harbor Beach who died on June 18, 2011 in Kandahar province, Afghanistan

Which leads me to wonder: why doesn't every state do this?

Back at the fort: saw a demonstration of the rifles used in the 1880s. They are quite loud. Done with the fort, we walked back down the hill, to start out on our walk to Arch Rock. My mistake: should have gone out the back entrance of the fort, because we had to walk back up the hill and went right past it. (add complaints here.)

Fortunately, there was a shortcut to Arch Rock, which made the hike about 1.5 miles round trip from the bottom of the hill. As soon as we got there, Johnny wanted to know where we'd eat lunch, and was not pleased when it occurred to him that there were no restaurants at the Arch. "You need two arches for lunch," I almost said. Don't poke the bear.

We looked around a bit, saw the arch. Climbed a bunch of stairs to a plaque commemorating the triumph of the white man, where he bested the aboriginals by having his accomplishment bronzed. His accomplishment was two-fold: he saw the adjoining straits, and he was the first white guy to do it. Yippee.

After some cajoling, I got the kids to agree to the fact that we were going to go back to town, AND they also somehow agreed that I would not have to carry them. I am quite the accomplished negotiator, maybe I should be bronzed.

Back in town, went to lunch, then off to find fudge. The fudge is made right before your eyes, on large marble tables. The whole town smells of sugar and horse manure, which I'm sure is lovely in August. But today it was ok, though the sugary sweetness of the air can be more potent and overpowering than anything the horses do, even at 70 degrees. But in we go to a few fudge shops, and we finally settle on "vanilla chocolate chip," not very adventurous but did I mention that both kids agreed on it? Winner! We get a slice of vanilla, which if you don't know is about 1/2 of a pound. We found a bench down the street, and I started cutting pieces and doling them out. Well, it wasn't too long before the kids were crying "uncle," fudge-wise. It's a lot of sugar.

The last thing the kids wanted to do was this "3-D Maze of Mirrors" they had noticed on the way to the fort - a storefront on the main street with a mirror maze. We went down, I paid their admission, and in they went. Cara came out the exit after about ten minutes, but the girl at the counter let her go back in to find/help Johnny. Ten minutes later, I poke my head in the shop (I was waiting in the doorway, on the street,) and she says, "They're not out yet. You want me to get them?" "No! I've been tied to them for ten days. Their being lost for a few minutes is fine by me. They'll be out, eventually, right?" And five minutes later, they were. Back to the ferry, back to the car, off to Grand Blanc (near Flint,) with the objective of breaking up what would be a 10-hour drive today in to a 4 and a 6 tomorrow.


Mackinac Island photos

Just south of St. Ignace, we went over the Mackinac Bridge, which was at one time the longest suspension bridge in the world. It's now 12th. I guess that it's a good bridge, too.

Wisconsin (Part 1)

(vacation, continued. I'm writing this from St. Ignace, Michigan, which is right across from Mackinac Island. We're going to go there tomorrow for a few hours. I told the kids a little bit about the last time I was there -- 1980, and I only know that because I remember that everyone was wearing "Who Shot J.R.?" T-shirts -- so Cara and Johnny have taken to refer to it as "Fudge Island." Thank God I did not mention the horse dung. I'll add pictures to go with the text later.)


June 19


Father's Day. We had breakfast, and then Johnny presented me with the gifts he'd been manufacturing for the event back at home, placed lovingly in an old carton which in its former application held a dozen boxes of Girl Scout cookies. Several of the items were paper airplanes, plus some hand-drawn cards ("I Love You, Dad" and "You're the best Dad" were featured on them, though I'm fairly sure he has no first-hand criteria to adequately make the second assessment.) Cara had presented me with some hand-made pottery before we left. Great day! We also Skype-ed with Chris for a while. After lunch, we went into Black River Falls to see the Falls Players production of The Wizard of Oz. It was adequate. The kids loved it, so that was good. 


June 20


After breakfast, we got started on the bridge. The design took a few turns on Sunday, as we studied the scale model I'd made. Nothing major, just some adjustments to the beams, a central beam instead of stringers, and 2x6 boards instead of decking. We had all the lumber already, except the decking, so we were all set. Took us all day to get the three beams in place, and mounted to the piers on either side, but it was a really good start.


In the meantime, my sister-in-law Linda took the kids to see Mr. Popper's Penguins, and by all accounts they had a good time. Linda had to go back to Minnesota that night, taking TJ the wonder dog with her.


June 21


With Linda gone, we left the kids at the cabin with a walkie-talkie, their DS games, and a ream of paper with which to fold paper airplanes (which sounds like a lot, but that's maybe three hours worth of Johnny folding airplanes, tops.) Dave and I went back to the bridge, and got everything ready for the decking, which we had yet to procure. Cara called a few times, mostly to ensure that we were still there, which was cute. Oh, Linda had also left some crafts for her, windcatchers and mugs to paint, things like that. We actually hadn't gotten very far from the house in the morning when she called the first time to announce that while getting the crafts out of the drawer, she had bonked her head. A full recovery was made.


After lunch, we loaded up the kids in Dave's car, he hooked up his trailer, and I put down the seats in the vans, and off to get the deck planks we went. 78 6' 2x6s later, and back we go. Now, we had plenty of time to measure the distance from the driveway to the bridge, and it turned out to be about 150 yards. Fortunately, the short boards fit nicely on to a wheelbarrow, so we actually got the all back to the bridge site in 4 trips, which beat the hell out of carrying them a few at a time. We spent the rest of the afternoon installing them, with a few breaks for calls from Cara, who mainly wanted to know when we'd be done. When we were almost done, they both came down to see the progress, which frankly startled me because they don't like to come out and subject themselves to possible tick attacks.


Late that night, my niece Haley drove down, with her friend Alaina, and Haley's dog, Siska. They got in after midnight, which was well past this bridge-builder's bed time.


June 22


In the morning, Dave and I went out to finish the bridge. We only had to put the trusses on the sides, which seemed easy enough. But I wanted to jack the bridge up somehow, so that the trusses were starting off in compression, and the bridge would be more stable from the get-go. So, we broke out Dave's car jack, and assembled a rig under the bridge, and jacked it up. Worked pretty well, and by the end of the day, we had ourselves a bridge.


Bridge Construction Photos
Bridge on the River Dry
Bridge on the River Dry (Director's Cut)


While we were getting dinner ready, everyone was near the kitchen when Haley says to Alaina, "Yeah, and when this one [points to me] shows up, he [points to Dave] turns into a smart-ass, too." So, it's good to know that I bring out the best in people!


Siska, it turns out, would have nothing to do with me. I finally got him to play with me the next day, but it was a lot of work, and frankly I don't have the energy for that. So, when we get a dog, it had better like me from the get-go, is all I'm saying.


June 23


In the morning, I was cleaning up tools, repacking them in the car, when I heard coyotes off in the not-too-far distance. So Cara and I hopped in the car, and went out to investigate. We came across two coyote pups, playing and walking along the road. I tried to drift down a little rise to get closer, but they skittered off before we got too close.


Having completed the main task for the week, we went out for lunch. Haley had to go back for work, so it was just Dave, the kids, and me. After lunch, we went to do a little geocaching in one of the Jackson County Forest areas. The kids and I had done this last year, and the cache we'd gone to then was on a road where someone had now placed about 20 more caches in a rough circle, with a diameter of maybe 2500 feet. So that's a pretty easy haul if you just want to find a few, right? Well, we get there, and first we have to convince the kids that they won't die if they walk through about fifty feet of tall grass (ticks, of course.) Then, we make our way to the nearest cache, which was only about 600 feet off of the road. Having found that one, we find the next closest one, which was about 700 feet to the west, so off we go. Well, more like 'up.' This part of Wisconsin is generally flat, the only terrain features are generally those caused by streams or other drainage. The other thing you should know is that there are almost no rocks, per se. Everything is sand, sand, sand, sand, and when you get tired of that, sand.Productions of repeated glaciation, as I understand it.


Anyway, here we are on our way to the next cache, and up, up, up we go. The hill was only about 100 feet of climb, but (a) it was surprising, and (b) when we got to the top, which was only about 10 feet wide before dropping off rather sharply on both sides, I remembered (was reminded, really) that Cara does not like heights. We still have about 250 feet to go to the cache, but when I realized that would mean climbing down this hill, then back up and down, we opted to find another cache on our side. In the meantime, Dave convinced the kids to walk along the ridge, up to one of the summits. The view was very nice, although I had to beg Cara to smile for a pic.


Walked back down, found another cache, and back to the car. When we got home, the only one with a tick on them was Johnny, and it was a little deer tick, which was only a little odd because up there I've only had the larger wood ticks on me. Came right off.


Hike photos


That night, Dave and I were out on the deck, and heard a pack of coyotes. They seemed pretty close, maybe a few hundred yards, and you could easily hear maybe 5 adults and several pups. They went on, absolutely crazy like, for about a minute, and then nothing. Later we heard another pack, but they were maybe a few miles away. Linda drove back down that night, too, so we were back to five at the cabin (Dave, Linda, Cara, Johnny, me.)


June 24


Usually, when we go to Wisconsin, we take a day to go to Noah's Ark, which is "The country's largest waterpark" and located in the Wisconsin Dells. It is really big. Last year, there happened to have been a tornado warning early that morning for that area, so when we got there under mostly cloudy (but warm) skies, there were very few people there. God, I love tornadoes sometimes.


The big thing last year was "The Scorpion's Tail." Basically, you stand in a tube, legs and arms crossed. Then, they count down from three, and at zero, the floor falls out, and you fall at speeds that seem to exceed that which would otherwise be accomplished through normal gravitational acceleration. You do sort of a sideways (but almost up and down) loop, and you stop at the bottom. No one should do this. I did it twice, and I was looking forward to it this year, too.


But, it was not to be. The weather this week was cool, mid-70s, chance of and/or actual rain every day. Not relishing the idea of being outside in the cool and the wind, we opted instead to go to Kalahari, which has an outdoor portion, but is mainly an indoor facility. The kids loved it. It was fun, but after lunch I wound up on a lounge chair and slept for about two hours. Best waterpark day ever.


Before we left, Johnny suggested that he wanted to try the "surfari" ride, where you boogie-board on a standing wave of water. Now, if you know Johnny, he is not what you would call "adventurous." Or "athletic." Or really "anything non-DS related." So I was happily surprised when he suggested it. Shocked, more like, but still happy. He got in line, and eventually it was his turn. The instructor had to hold him by the ankles to get him going into the wave, but once he was there, he did great. After about a minute, he wiped out (as everyone does), pulled up his pants, and came down to me. He then proceeded to explain that he had hurt his butt a little bit, and pulled his pants down a bit to show me. Johnny has a lot of Forrest Gump in him.


Kalahari photos


Tired. I'll finish Kalahari and Wisconsin later...

Road Trip

(Editor's note: it has been suggested that this blog would be more compelling with a little more drama. As a result, this entry contains 30% more drama than our regular posts.)


June 16

Rolled out of bed at 7, finished packing the car, stopped off at The Fire Escape for coffee, and off we went. It seemed like a normal trip, on our first leg of vacation to visit the Goettlers in suburban Chicago, and then: (dramatic pause) we arrived safely and without incident.

I got a KanJam set for the Goettlers, and the kids wanted to try it. So, got it set up, then Cara, Owen, and two neighbor boys started to play. If you've never played, or even necessarily heard of it, it's sorta like horseshoes with a Frisbee, where you try get the disc into a can with or without the assistance of your teammate. So, the kids set about to try it, and after a few throws (dramatic pause,) I decided that maybe we should just throw the ol' Frisbee around for a while to get used to throwing. So, we did that for a while, until (dramatic pause) it got dark, and everyone went home.
(Ed.: Wow, huh? This drama thing is really working!)

June 17

Friday's big adventure included skype-ing with Chris, going to the pool, and (dramatic pause) having dinner with some friends of the Goettlers. (Ed: Ok, I'm tired of this drama thing already.) We skyped with Chris at 11CDT(2030AFT), which was nice but uneventful. After lunch, went to the pool. Very nice, very uneventful. Back for dinner at the Goettlers, for which Ron grilled dogs and burgers, and their friends and their kids came over. Then the house almost burned down. (Ed: stop it, you're embarassing yourself, there was no drama, the house did not almost burn down.)

June 18

We got up at 7 to go to Cara's feis. This will be our third jaunt to the Mullane Healy Godley  Feis, because (a) it's a nice stop on the way to Wisconsin, and (b) it is coincidently maybe a mile from the Goettler's house.


So, off we go, Cara, Johnny, and I, and Emma came along, too, because it is really neat to see the costumes and all the dancers and everything. Johnny had his DS, so we're all set. We get registered, and we find a spot on the indoor soccer field where we can get ready. This consists of hair, dress, socks, and dance shoes. I'm actually pretty good at hair, particularly now that she wears a wig, because I just have to tell her to put her hair up in three or for pigtails. But on this morning, she can't get a good tail, so I had to do it, and it took several tries. Never a good sign...But, we got it, got the wig on, dress, socks, and ghillies. And I got to try the new shoe-tying trick I learned from a TED Talk. Ready to go.


Now, when we registered, we got her card with her competitor number on it, and on the reverse was her name, along with the three dances I had registered her for: a reel, the light jig, and the slip jig. Before you ask, reels are counted in 4/4 time, jigs in 3/4. That's all I know. Anyway, the printing of the dances on the reverse figures into the story shortly.


We waited a bit. Her first dance was supposed to start at 8:45, but they were just starting the 8:00 dances when we got there at 8:40. Johnny was, in his words, "starving to death," so I took him to the concession stand, which was above the field and we could watch Cara wait for her dance. Johnny is not the fastest eater, so of course Cara eventually came up to insist that I come down and wait with her and Emma, which wasn't unreasonable, so down we went, and as we got there, they were taking the girls up for Cara's first dance, the reel. I sat down next to Emma, and waited for them to start.


Now, the nice thing about these Irish Dance things, especially at the beginner level, is that I don't get a huge 'stage mom' vibe from it. Sure, there's a little, but it's not the norm. For the most part, everyone is there to see their kid do their best, and when their best is better than others, good for them. I can't imagine putting pressure on kids under the age of say, thirty, anyway. I try to encourage Cara, certainly, but I'm not there to harp on her or anything. "Point your toes," and "lift your knees" is about all I know to say, technique-wise, so I try to make those reminders as gentle and infrequent as possible, though I do want her to do well, of course.


Ok, so, finally they start to dance. The way they do the dances is that they line up maybe 12 girls, then they pull out two (or in this case, three) as a time, count them in to the step, and send them on their way to do their little 16-bar dance. The trick is that every school teaches a slightly different reel, so what you end up with when you have these girls dancing around in different directions is what I like to call "complete anarchy." Occasionally, you'll get two dancers from the same school, and it actually looks a little odd having them mimic each other around the dance floor.


Cara's turn. No chance of any mimicry here, she's the only one from Bell School of Irish Dance at the feis. Off she goes, and though it wasn't the best I've seen out of her, it was still good, and she's done. But Emma leans over to me and says "It looks like she wants to cry!" (Real, actual drama!) (Ed: nobody cares) So I make my way over to where the dancers will come off of the dance floor, and, sure enough, she starts to cry. I pulled her out of the crowd a bit, and she explained that she had forgotten what dance she was to do, and looked at her card, which listed her slip jig first, even though the first event was the reel. She was beside herself for a bit, but after a drink of water, I tried to get her to set that aside and just do the best she could for her next two dances.


Well, she was clearly distracted, but she did fine. The funny thing was that she ended up tied for sixth in the reel, didn't place in the others where she did the right steps. I attribute that almost entirely to the fact that (a) at her level, the judges are really just looking at form and whatever, and only at each dancer for a few moments, really, and (b) she was in a tizzy for the other two. Poor thing. But, she bounced back after the event, and really didn't let it ruin her whole day. 


After that: back to the Goettler's for lunch, then off on our 5-hour drive to Black River Falls. The only event was that I nipped the "when will we get there" questions in the bud early: "We'll get there when this clock says 6. If we aren't there by six, you can ask me again at that point. Once." Surprisingly effective.


I'll give you a break. We'll talk about Wisconsin in the next installment...

Car Talk

So today, I gave my car away. Ok, donated. Either way, it's gone. I've never really been attached to cars, per se. I mean, I like them to run and all, and I like having cars that I can fix, and I can fix lots of things. But if there's a group talking about cars: old cars, new cars, luxury cars, sports cars -- I generally have to nod in what I feel to be appropriate moments and ways. Seems to have worked, to date.


I've only owned (solely or jointly) five cars. I gave away a car once before, but it wasn't technically mine. That is actually a fun story -- it all happened on the last Saturday of spring break, 1987, I think. I had awoken, had breakfast, packed, and was waiting for my friend, Bruce, to pick me up for a ride back to State College. My brothers Brian and Greg were there at the house, but Mom and Dad were off in Minnesota visiting Dave and his family, which at that point included Cam. So, as usual when my folks went out of town, there was a problem with the well. At that point in my education, I'd only had 3 years worth of engineering school (which ended up at about 25% of the final count), so naturally I climbed down into the well pit, only to discover that I had no idea what I was doing. Oh, I had watched about a hundred times, as Dad reprimed the pump, but as I was usually looking down at his back while he did it. Which, now that I think about it, is mostly how I learned to fix my cars, too, which makes me wonder if I should really be doing that.


Anyway, as I climbed down there, our dog, Becket, was poking around the pit. When I climbed back up, he was not. Not particularly strange, his running off. He actually ran away pretty much every Wednesday for several years in a row. Once he ran away on a Thursday, got hit by a car, and had pins and plates installed in both hips. And as soon as he healed, he resumed his just-about-weekly schedule, and apparently this week he had picked Saturday. 


The dog was gone. At the same time, Greg mentioned that the Ford Maverick we had sitting idle in the driveway was due to be picked up by some guys for scrap. I headed in, and called my dad in MN, so he could explain the procedure. I called, and he was going to call me back for some reason, so I wandered into the living room. HBO was on, and the movie was The Brother From Another Planet, which I had not yet seen except for one scene in which Fisher Stevens does a cameo as a guy on the subway who shows a card trick to the protagonist. The only reason I even stopped to watch it this time was that this very scene was playing, and as he did the trick, I had one of those "eureka" moments where I figured out how it worked, and I've been doing that trick ever since.


So, the story so far: pump's not running, dog's gone, figured out a card trick. Dad calls back, and explains how to prime the pump, which isn't complicated and I really should have been able to do it, but there we were. Out to the pit I went, and as I was climbing in, a car screeches into the driveway, and my neighbor jumps out. "Jeff! Did you lose your dog!" he says, "Jump in, I saw him up the road!" So, I jump in, and he peels out, gravel flying. He pulls the car maybe 100 feet to the next driveway, slams the car into park, and jumps out. "He was just here a second ago!" as he points to the obvious absence of dog. "Well, thanks anyway," I said, and walked back to prime the pump. As I get home, there are now two guys and a truck parked in front of the Maverick, and the guys are looking around the car. "We talked to Vic," one said, "is this the car?" "Yep." "Do you have the keys?" he asked, and I pointed to the trunk lock with the keys sticking in it -- which was right in front of him, and he was clearly looking at it -- and said, "Yep, right there." "Okay!" they said, and they set about loading the car, and I went to prime the well, which was as easy as it should have been in the first place. When I got out of the pit, they were done and gone.


Back in the house, I call my dad back to report that the well was primed and working, and by the way the guys came for the car. "Did you get the fifty bucks?" he asks. "I did not." Thus was performed my first car donation, or possibly a car theft depending on how you look at it -- but I couldn't stay to chat about it, because Bruce had arrived, and honked for me to come out. I put my bag in, and sat down, and Bruce goes to back out of the driveway when he says, "Hey, Jeff, do you want to get your dog out of the way?" The dog had returned. I like it when stories wrap themselves up like that.


Today's donation was pretty straightforward. We gave the Corolla to an outfit in Wexford that will find a person or family who needs a car for work or whatever. The folks showed up, we did the paperwork, I gave them the keys, and off they went, in less time that it takes me to do that card trick.

But this car, of all cars, was special. It was, after all, the first car I had bought new. And it was the car I bought on March 8, 1997, which is precisely the day after I proposed to Chris. Made for a very expensive weekend, but I think it's worked out pretty well! That car did have over a hundred and sixty thousand miles on it, after all!

"...and Dad"

Ok, been a while, so here's the catch-up article. It's called "...and Dad" because that's how Johnny starts out most of his conversations with me. He's either continuing a conversation from hours or days ago, or one that he's been having with me without the necessity of telling me. For fun, you can just add "...and Dad" between paragraphs. I'd do it, but I'm afraid I'll have some kind of Nam-like flashback...

Memorial Day

On Memorial Day, we usually participate in our little 'burb's parade. Chris marches with the veterans, and I walk with the Johnny and the rest of the Cub Scouts. Works out pretty well, normally, and by "normally" I mean last year was Johnny's first year in Cubs, and we didn't lose anyone. "Leave no man behind" is the Cub Scout Motto, after all.

We did lose some flags last year, though. The pack had about fifty or so flags for the scouts to carry and wave, and somewhere along the line, one of the leaders got the idea that maybe we should hand out these flags to veterans along the way? And while we're at it, kids, too? And, hey, a few flags left over? Well, just take those with you, kids. God Bless America! 

Later this same leader learned that no, in fact, those were just for carrying and waving. So, he replaced them, with real, honest-to-goodness, made in the USA flags. But he also felt that we should hand out something,  so we got a whole lot of little flags to pass out this year. 

I'm fairly sure we didn't lose anyone.

Skype at School

The kids wanted to skype with Chris at school, so we got it set up. I went in one afternoon to work with Johnny's teacher, Gail Lipchak, to make sure everything worked. It did, pretty well, when we Skyped between her computer and my laptop. She also read me the questions she had each of the kids in the class write up. They were pretty good, softball questions: what do you eat, do you get bored, what's the weather like, and on and on. Johnny's was the best, and I'll get to it.

So that test was maybe on a Thursday, and we were going to skype the next week. But the kids came home from school on Friday and told me that they both got to talk to mommy at school that day. Turns out that Mrs. Lipchak had her Skype open, and Chris just called her out of curiosity. So Gail had to have someone run and get Johnny out of lunch and Cara out of class, but they got to talk for a few minutes. They said it worked ok, but got really choppy after a while.

Eventually, we get to do it for-real with the rest of Johnny's class. Steve and Gretchen from the PG came, too, and I got there a little early to check everything out. I didn't want to chance it with the school's network, so I just tethered my phone to my laptop and ran it through there. Did I mention that I love my phone? Well, I did love it at one point, now I think we're just really good friends, and I'm going to dump it for a new model when my "new every two" term is up. (But I still love my wife! No need to turn her in for a new model!) (Also, that option is not available on that contract.)

Anyway, went very smoothly. The kids watched the action on the big screen, and each one in turn came back to ask their question. At last, we got to Johnny, and it went something like this:
Johnny: Mom, on a scale of one to one million, how much do you love me?
Me: Don't answer! It's a trick question! He didn't say if a million was good or bad!
Chris: Ten million!
Johnny: Mom, the scale only goes to a million!
Chris: A million, then. Johnny, how much do you love me?
Johnny: A million and a half.

Too cute.

I wanted to do the same in Cara's class, and thankfully I ran into her teacher, Dave Thomas, on the way out, and we set it up for the next day. Same set up, kids watching on the big screen, and asking questions at the laptop. But here we didn't have them write down questions beforehand, which worked out ok with the older crowd. Chris also wanted to tell one of Cara's classmates about the women in the Air Force. Chris had gone into Cara's class in April, and one of the girls asked her if she got tired of always wearing the same thing, and if she could wear earrings and other things. Yes, and no. "Well, that would be a problem for me," said the girl, "because I like to accessorize!"

So this girl came up with two or three questions, but after the first one, Chris told her that the Air Force women can wear earrings, if they want to. So maybe there's a military option for her, after all?

Field Day

The next day, we had field day for Johnny in the morning, Cara in the afternoon. A few times in the past, I've run the whole event, coordinating the games and the volunteers and the snacks and whatever. It's fun, but it's a lot of work, especially when you are a closeted control freak. So for the past few years, I've offered, but other folks have stepped up (and God bless them,) so I've just volunteered to do the games or whatever is needed. 

Field day is usually held outside when the weather is good, but this year, despite the good weather, it was inside. Turns out they are surveying for the new school building, I think, and the field was unavailable.Fine by me, because as I think we all know I like the outdoors and all, but I loathe sunshine beating down on me. Usually, the gym is crowded and hot, but they did pull a few of the 'water-based' games outside, and with the doors open it was actually pleasant.

So, Johnny's field day was in the morning. I was at the 'snack' station, where I was tasked with the critical job of handing out two (2) pretzel rods to each kid. I was also the first part of the station, so I had to line the kids up. "Line up, in order of the height of your paternal grandmothers," I'd say, and after a confused pause, "Ok, just line up here."

 

There's a little girl in second grade who looks just like our neighbor, who is in first grade. And when I say "just like," I mean it in the "separated at birth, freaky unrelated twin" kinda way. I know this. I know that this girl is in second grade, she'd gone to preschool with Johnny. But of course when she came through the snack line, I gave her this sort of sideways "what are you doing here?" look, but I didn't say anything. Yet.

After they played all the games, they had a tug-of-war, which I got to emcee mostly because (a) I am loud and (b) I enjoy the sound of my own voice being loud. So, I called up the classes in pairs, and we tugged and warred and whatever. When I called up the class with the little doppelganger, I said, "Maggie, what are you doing here, really?" and she said, "I'm Grace!" "Oh, of course you are, dear, my bad." Embarrassing.

Cara's field day was that afternoon. I didn't get to take any pictures, it was a relay-race station and I had a lot of fun keeping the kids entertained while they did a three-legged race, an egg-carry, and a few others. The three-legged race is funny with kids, because they don't want to touch anyone of the opposite gender. I had to explain to several pairs of kids that, under the laws of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, participating in a three-legged race together did not mean that they had to get married. It does, however, qualify them for group life insurance, but I had no takers.

Camping 

Our Cub Scout pack has a family camping event every June, and this year I decided that would be a good distraction. The camp was "Twin Echo," near Ligonier, about two hours away. 

It's a cabin, with four rooms full of bunk-bed cots. I brought my tent. The kids wanted to sleep in the cabin, Cara with the girls, Johnny with the boys. I just wanted to sleep.

Saturday, after breakfast, we all went fishing. Well, we got the lines wet, anyway, which is fine by me, because the worst part of fishing, especially with kids, is catching the damned fish. Anyway, it was fun, and after that we went on a little hike with everyone to the top of the hill. We saw a lot of tracks, we heard a lot of birds, oh, and we flushed out an ovenbird but I didn't waste err I mean spend my time looking for it's nest.

After the hike, lunch. Not noteworthy, but while we were cleaning up, a snake was discovered in the broom closet. The resident expert was called, and I saw that it was a rat snake, about four feet. After some time, we coaxed it into a trash can and I took it outside. Now, if it had been my old man, he would have just picked the darn thing up with one hand while distracting it with the other. And good for him, I say, but we put it in a trash can.

So, as I was taking it outside, we called the kids over, because if you're going to see a snake up close, the best time is when it's in the can. Well, Cara comes running around the side of the cabin and very nearly steps on another, equally large rat snake,  at which point she vowed never to set foot in the cabin again, and wanted to leave right away. I talked her down to sleeping in the tent with me, and she eventually went into the cabin again because that's where the kids were.

After lunch, we played around the field, it rained a little, and then more fishing. Cara caught two fish with one worm. After the second, I cast the same worm out again -- another fish. And then another. Stupid fish. I'd say "lucky worm," but it depends who you ask (don't ask the worm.)

Cara, Anna, and Juliet put on a few skits, which they got out of a skit book which was conveniently brought along for just such an occasion.

In one of the photos, Johnny wanted to fly. This was the best we could manage.

Fun on the Road, More Fun at Home

So this past weekend, we took a trip down to see Chris's brother Dan, his wife Catherine, and their three kids Jillian, Ryan, and Lauren, specifically for the occasion of Jillian's first communion on Saturday. I got the kids out of school at noon, and off we went. We took the "extended scenic route," by which I tried to avoid not just the turnpike, but also the DC beltway, because we were headed right into the heart of that beast at rush hour on a Friday. Ended up going through Winchester, sort of, and still got in around 6:30, even though we had to stop to find a car wash where I could hose down and cool off my brakes, because apparently they are a little grabby. (Long story short, new car is going to beat new dog, hands down.)


Catherine made a cake, and we had a little b-day celebration for Cara. Mostly, she got some cool new duds, which is good because she makes a lot of costume changes and her father isn't really up on fashion. But also, Chris's mom made her a very nice photo album - a year-by-year montage of Chris's life, with captions for the photos and room for many more pages. Cara thought it was nice, and looked through it with me, but I don't think she's going to really realize what a great gift it is for a few years yet. For those of you keeping score, photo-wise: The guy she's known for over 20 years, married, and is the father of two wonderful grandchildren: 11 pictures. The guy she dated for just over a year, and left in order to date the aforementioned: 4 pictures. Maybe there weren't a lot of other pictures that year?


Anywho, after that, went out for a beer with our old friend, Paul, then came back to discover that Cara's allergies were bothering her - runny nose, which eventually became a sore throat. She insisted that the air in Dan's basement (where we were sleeping) was trying to kill her, though I'm pretty sure it wasn't.


The next day, we went to their neighbor's house for a combined communion party. The two communicants were Jillian and her friend Gillian. Attending the party was (among many, many others) Johnny, his cousin, Ryan, and Ryan's cousin, John Ryan. You can't make this stuff up, no one would believe it.


Home on Sunday. Uneventful -- the brakes barely even overheated, hardly worth hosin' down. But then the fun started: Sunday night, Cara developed a fever. Just by coincidence, Johnny had a recheck appointment for his last ear infection, so I told Cara she'd come along and get a strep test. Well, she hated that idea, insisting that she doesn't like the way they do the test at the doctor's office, and instead she wanted to go to the Minute Clinic (the name of which has never been disambiguated to my satisfaction.) So, Monday morning, we head to the clinic (which was sort of on the way, anyway.) But when the swabs come out, she announces that she doesn't want the test there, either. [coax cajole struggle struggle]...and, we're done. Strep it is! Don Pardo, tell our contestants what they've won! Why, they've won a ten day course of amoxicillin, Wink!


Johnny's ears: fine, so he goes to school, Cara stays home. For dinner that night, I tried for a normal meal: BBQ chicken, et al. Johnny really like the sauce: too much, turned out later. At bedtime, he told me he felt like throwing up, I told him it was probably just an upset stomach, gave him some water and put him on the couch. Should have got him a bucket, turned out. Live an learn, right? Or, maybe, re-learn -- seems like this might have happened before. But after that, he's fine, Cara's fine (and no fever since Sunday), so off to school they go. Of course, the nurse calls around 1 to tell me Cara's fever is back. Another day with dad tomorrow. Yippee!!!

Father/Daughter Dance

Tonight was the Girl Scouts' Father/Daughter Dance. I had almost forgotten about it entirely, apparently I forgot to put it on my phone's calendar, and I never do anything unless Droid tells me to, so it was only by chance that someone mentioned it the other day. Also by chance Johnny had a birthday party to go to, so it all worked out.

Yesterday was Cara's birthday. We just had a little family thing, we went shopping, then out for dinner and ice cream. I can't believe she's ten. She can, so it all evens out.

Anyway, at the dance, I got a few pix. The two on the left are from tonight. The one on the right is from the F/D Valentine's Day Dance. We are definitely getting our money's worth out of our outfits.

At the dance, there was a song about a daughter growing up and getting married. I pointed out to Cara that she wasn't allowed to marry unless she found someone as funny, smart, and modest as her father. Good luck with that, right? But she just said, "Don't worry, Dad, I'm not getting married." So, we're all set.

A Day to Remember

So, today is of course, a great day of celebration. And by that I mean that it's Cara's 10th birthday, which could seriously drag on into June. Oh, and Bin Laden is dead, so now I have to figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do for Johnny's birthday next year. Gadhafi, someone suggested on Facebook, just before my post mysteriously disappeared. Coincidence? Probably.

Johnny's Tree Study

Last week was the GATE/Art show at the elementary school. Johnny just got into the program last week, and he wanted to go see some of the exhibits that his friends worked on. His favorite was one about dogs, where, among many other tidbits, we learned that "dogs are often used to help people haunt." I did not know that. Never let spelling inhibit the creative process, I always say, and I meene it.

Cara's Cat

Johnny and Cara each had some art on display. Trees and a cat. We could have easily combined them and had a cat in the tree, but separately is fine, too.

Had an athletic "two-fer" on Saturday -- both Johnny and Cara's soccer games were wins. Might be a first for single-day victories at Casa de Cieslak. I can't mention enough that I really don't care about wins or losses, it was just an interesting outcome. Both played very well, too -- didn't get hurt and had fun, so they were wins regardless of the score.

Week 0 down....

Ok, I think we have to call this "Week 0," for a few reasons. First. Chris hasn't made it to Afghanistan yet. I'm not sure when her 'deployment clock' starts, maybe it already has, but really it doesn't matter because she'll get back when they are ready to give her back, which will be only approximately a year from now. The other reason is that this was spring break for the kids, and honestly I could have done without that for the first week of this little adventure.

It wasn't really too bad, though. Johnny did have an ear infection which turned into a cold which made him cough a few nights which kept me up, but honestly it wasn't like I'm sleeping great now anyway. But at least he didn't miss any extra school, I guess. When I send them back on Monday, I have to send a note explaining why they were absent for three days last week. I'm writing the same thing as I have for the past few months when Chris came home for a few days at a time and we kept them out of school or got them out early or brought them in late: "Military Leave."

Cara was, is, always will be a bit of a pistol. She generally requires a coterie of friends who she can rotate through (throughout any given day or, really, hour) so that she remains constantly entertained. We did our best. Cara and I also have an ongoing battle over that most favorite of household guests: stink bugs. When she sees one, you'd think the thing had made a go for her jugular. I kinda yelled at her the other night, so we had a long talk about it. She says she's scared, and I can really understand that. What I told her was that it's ok to be scared, but you have to work to put that fear aside a bit, because if you don't you end up giving the thing you're scared of way too much power over you. And aside from smelling awful, I've never seen a stink bug do anything. God, I envy them...

Anyway, we compromised: when she sees one, she's to calm herself down, calmly tell me about it, and then I'll take care of it. Hopefully, we can work toward a little more action on her part, but I'm just as happy to be rid of the screeching...

Flew kites on Sunday. Well, Cara and a friend and I flew them. Johnny sat in the car. Fun.